Winter is coming, and with it come germs—so many germs. Which is the perfect time for us to answer a centuries-old question: How do you avoid attacking your partner while sick? Many couples end up in arguments as the result of one or both partners being in a bad mood or having a short temper because they’re feeling under the weather. So here is how to keep the peace when you feel like anything but.

Acknowledge the Situation

The first step is to acknowledge that you are not at your best, and neither is your partner, if they’ve gotten sick too. Recognize that any irritability and frustration you have are likely a result of your illness rather than anything your partner has done. Share with your partner that you’re not feeling well and that you might be a bit more irritable than usual, as this sets the stage for understanding and support.

Set Realistic Expectations

When you’re sick, it’s essential to set realistic expectations as a couple. You may not be able to engage in all your usual responsibilities or interactions. Your main priority when sick is self-care, so all that housework you meant to do and weekly chores on your to-do list can wait. Some people function better than others while sick, so keep that in mind before judging your partner.

Ask for Back-Up

Your partner can’t read your mind, so if you need a glass of water, some soup, or a little extra help around the house, you have to actually request it from your partner. After the fact, make sure to let your partner know how much you appreciate their support and care; a simple “thank you” can go a long way in fostering goodwill.

Patience is a Virtue

Recognize that patience is a virtue, and it’s something you and your partner can cultivate. When either of you is feeling frustration welling up, take a deep breath and remember that you are there to support each other. Resist the urge to place blame on each other for the discomfort of sickness. Remember, they’re not the cause of your illness, and they’re likely doing their best to help.

Time Apart

Sometimes, a bit of space can be beneficial. If you find that you’re getting overly irritable, it might be a good idea to spend a little time alone until you’re feeling more at ease. Or at least take space from the serious or stressful topics. A shared laugh can be a great way to lift spirits and strengthen connections.

Being sick is unpleasant, and it’s perfectly normal to feel less patient and more irritable than usual. However, by following these tips, you can avoid snapping at each other and maintain a caring and loving connection even in the midst of illness. Remember, you are there to support each other, and together you can weather any storm, including a bout of sickness, with love and understanding.