Addressing concerns about a partner’s substance use, whether it be alcohol, marajuana, narcotics, or other substances, can be a daunting and sensitive topic. Conversations about substance use can cause defensiveness and conflict, but if you have a concern, it is worth discussing as substance use can negatively effect you, your partner, and your overall relationship. In this blog post, we’ll explore strategies for discussing substance use concerns with your partner, and how to support your partner as well as yourself as you navigate this challenging issue together.

Prepare for the Conversation

Choose a time and place conducive to open and honest communication, free from distractions or interruptions. Try and choose a time when both you and your partner are low in stress and anxiety, and a place where you both feel safe and without others around. Educate yourself ahead of time about substance use disorders, addiction, and available treatment options. Understanding the nature of addiction can help you approach the conversation with empathy and provide informed support for your partner.

Acknowledge Your Concerns

Start by acknowledging your concerns about your partner’s substance use in a calm and non-confrontational manner. Express your observations, feelings, and any specific behaviors that have raised concerns for you. Use “I” statements to express your concerns and feelings without placing blame or judgment on your partner. For example, say, “I feel worried when I see you drinking heavily,” rather than, “You’re always drinking too much.”

Express Care and Support

You can still support your partner while also emphasizing the impact their substance use is having on the relationship and you. Let them know that you’re coming from a place of love and concern, and that you want to work together to find solutions. Listen empathetically to their perspective without interrupting or dismissing their feelings. Validate their experiences and emotions, even if you may not agree with their viewpoint.

Offer Resources and Support

Explore treatment options together, such as therapy, counseling, or participation in a substance abuse treatment program. Offer to accompany your partner to appointments and provide emotional support throughout the treatment process. This may include seeking individual therapy, attending support groups such as Al-Anon or Nar-Anon for family members, or exploring couples therapy to navigate the issue together.

Practice Self-Care

Take care of yourself emotionally and physically while supporting your partner through their substance use concerns. Practice self-care activities such as exercise, meditation, or spending time with supportive friends and family members. Set clear and healthy boundaries around substance use within the relationship, and discuss expectations, such as limits on drinking or drug use.

Discussing concerns about a partner’s substance use is a challenging but necessary step in fostering a healthy and supportive relationship in which couples work together to address concerns. Remember that seeking support from professional resources and taking care of both individuals’ well-being are essential aspects of navigating this challenging issue together. For more information about what substance use issues look like, how to engage in conversations about substance use, and other support options, head over to Al-Anon or Nar-Anon.