Depression can cast a long shadow over individuals and relationships alike. When one partner is grappling with this challenging mental health condition, it can impact both of you. In this blog post, we’ll explore strategies for couples dealing with depression.

The Basics

Similar to couples dealing with anxiety, open communication in a safe and judgment-free space is key. Encourage your partner to express their feelings and listen actively without trying to offer a solution or “fix.” Take time to research depression symptoms, triggers, and treatments, so you can come from a place of empathy and understanding. Prioritize self-care for both of you, engaging in activities that promote well-being, relaxation, and connection.

Seek Professional Support 

Depression often requires professional intervention. Encourage your partner to seek individual therapy, and consider starting couples therapy to learn how to best support one another. However, something that seems very simple to you, such as calling to make an appointment, can feel like a mountain to someone with depression, so remember that their lack of “effort” is not a reflection of their feelings toward you.

Establish Realistic Expectations

On that same note, keep in mind that depression affects various aspects of life, including energy levels, motivation, and emotional availability. Establish realistic expectations for yourselves and your relationship, acknowledging that some days will be more challenging than others. It is easy to become frustrated when you recommend positive change to your partner, and they don’t seem eager to take it. Depression changes the brain; even the smallest tasks feel big. Be patient with your partner, as they take things at their own pace.

Monitor Your Own Mental Health

Supporting a partner with depression can be emotionally demanding and draining. It’s essential to monitor your own mental health and seek support when needed. Ask your partner to choose someone in your life with whom you can discuss your partner’s depression and its impact on you, so as to maintain your partner’s privacy while also getting support. Consider getting professional support for yourself from a therapist. Remember that it’s okay to ask for help and take breaks when necessary.

Ask the Hard Questions

While not everyone who has depression will be suicidal, suicidal ideation is a common symptom of depressive disorders. As a partner, this can be absolutely terrifying and leave you with a sense of hopelessness. If you have a concern that your partner is suicidal, simply ask them, “Are you having suicidal thoughts?” Studies have shown that asking someone this question will not make them suicidal, and they will most likely be honest with you. It is always better to ask. See the attached image below for more information about suicidal ideation.

Dealing with depression as a couple is a journey that requires patience, understanding, and a commitment to each other’s well-being. By fostering open communication, seeking professional support, educating yourselves, and creating a supportive environment, couples can navigate the challenges of depression together. Remember, you’re a team, and facing these difficulties hand-in-hand can lead to a stronger, more resilient relationship.