Chances are, you have gone on a date before. And chances are, you have gone on a bad date before. So, what leads to bad dates? What makes someone a bad match? We’ve talked before about how XY Theory affects those in relationships, but what about those pre-relationship? In this blog post, we’re going to explore the effect that Interactive Personality Type has on single individuals. 

Review of Interactive Personality Types

XY Interactive Personality Type helps you understand how you act in a relationship and what you need from relationships. It is a two-letter result, where the first letter relates to communication needs and the second letter relates to intimacy needs. These needs fall on a scale, ranging from high need (X) to low need (Y).

Timing of Courtship

One of the main ways in which X and Y types differ when it comes to dating is the timing of their journey. First is when efforts to find a partner begin, particularly at what age dating starts. X-Types typically start too early, often due to the high need for communication and intimacy not being fulfilled elsewhere. Y-Types typically start too late, as their low need for communication and intimacy doesn’t lead to the need for a partner.

Lessons Learned

Our past often gives us guidance on where to move next and what to look for in the next relationship. X-Types tend to learn little from their past, not adjusting their “ideal person” blueprint based on things they did or didn’t like in past relationships. In addition, X-Types tend to venture out of their blueprint, dating people who won’t meet their needs. On the other hand, Y-Types tend to overgeneralize from their past, making their blueprint very strict and specific. They stick to this blueprint so strictly that even people who meet most of the criteria on the list won’t make the cut.

Relationship Interactions

Once a potential partner is found, a new collection of differences occurs between X-Types and Y-Types, especially when it comes to how they interact with this new person. X-Types typically wear their hearts on their sleeves, pushing for vulnerability quickly in a new relationship. They use a lot of connecting language and show large amounts of empathy. For Y-Types, this can be overwhelming, as they struggle to both show empathy and use connecting language.

Time for Commitment

For most people, the goal of dating is to find a special someone to commit to. But even this has variability between X and Y Types. X-Types commit when the person is right, typically determined by how they are feeling in their heart. Meanwhile, Y-Types commit when the time is right, such as when they hit a predetermined age in which they are ready to be in a committed relationship.

None of these things are inherently bad or negative. However, they can lead to delays in finding a partner, if that is one’s goal. Knowing your Interactive Personality Type can help you avoid pitfalls and mistakes along your dating journey. For more information about how XY Theory can help you in the dating realm, check out our Soulmate Program at https://www.xyconnexioncoaching.com/soulmate-program.